just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
whose parrot is this?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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