forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So much rum. So many feels.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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