How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
