Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
