Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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