So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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