I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
