She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize