ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
