We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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