Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
