Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
