this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
