dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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