What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize