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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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