Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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