He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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