So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize