Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your dad touched me again.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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