I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
