I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
