i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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