a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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