Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
