do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
