she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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