people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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