Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
