What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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