I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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