when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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