Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize