Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
