Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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