Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
