if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
