whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my being single is dangerous.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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