i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
