Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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