Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
