I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
