White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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