there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
