shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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