hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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