He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
