come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
