he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
