Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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