I'm gonna have a badass scar
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
