i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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