She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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