I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
