i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
