Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
