I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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