Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
