I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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