that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
