i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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