belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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